My mother-in-law, Margaret, has been suffering from memory lapses for at least three years now. We first realized this when we still lived out in the country, where the Blair Witch Project could have been filmed. She had left her home in Brighton, and an hour later, still had not arrived at our house, fifteen minutes away. She hadn't arrived because although she had been to our house hundreds, if not thousands of times, she had gotten lost on the way.
It was easy to dismiss this. She was taking medication because she had low blood pressure and she and Peter, my father-in-law, wrote it off to that.
Martin and I were concerned, and thought she should get evaluated, but were reassured by both Peter and Margaret that it was just her meds.
Fast forward to the next couple years, and the memory lapses are getting more pronounced. Sometimes, it's little things, like not remembering what day it is. Other times, it's things like not remembering where a store or restaurant she's gone to for years is, or we make plans and have to tell her several times. Mia goes to school Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and she doesn't remember that.
Sometimes, in conversation with her, I'll tell her something and she'll say, "Oh, that's right!" and I know she has no idea what I'm talking about.
Finally, last week, Peter took her to be evaluated. It didn't go well. She has to go back for some testing and it's going to be done in the evening. Margaret is convinced that she's being taken away that evening and put in a home. After the appointment, she was so upset, Margaret and Peter stopped by the house and Martin and I tried to reassure her. Martin and his mom have always been exceptionally close and he is going with them for the evening tests.
I love my mother-in-law dearly. I will never forget, when Martin and I started dating, his parents still lived on Brighton Lake and had a pontoon boat. We went over one Sunday afternoon to go out on the boat and I met his parents. As soon as I saw his mom, I recognized her from the car dealership I worked at as The British Dog Lady. His parents "adopted" me as soon as we met and I've enjoyed my close relationship with them.
Margaret is a remarkable lady. She grew up in a small town in the north of England and moved to the States with her husband and son in 1980. She left behind family and friends and a world she knew well to start a new life. She's very much the British Mum. Her house is always immaculate (you never know when the Queen of England is going to stop by your house in Brighton, Michigan, for a cup of tea) and never has a mean word to say about anyone. She loves her family and would do anything in the world for us. She's friendly to everyone, has never met a stranger, and I've never met anyone better with dogs.
I dearly hope when she has this testing done, something can be done to help her. I know she is frightened, and I want her to feel more like herself again.
Lisa, I don't comment much, but this is worth it. Margaret is everything you say and more, an absolutely wonderful person. Please let her know that our thoughts and prayers are with her and all of you.
Posted by: Tom S. | March 19, 2008 at 08:02 PM
Hi Lisa, I'm sorry to hear Margaret is having a hard time. She is one of the most gracious people I've ever met. I will keep her in my thoughts and I hope you keep us posted.
Posted by: Holly | March 20, 2008 at 11:54 AM
I hate to hear this Lisa. From all you've said about Margaret, I always wished I had met her.
These kinds of things are frightening, not only to her, but also her family.
As long as she still remembers to keep her house clean, her memory problems are still in the early stages. There are a lot of new medicines out on the market today that can help with these problems. I hope they have run a blood test to make sure it isn't just low Potassium levels. My aunt was diagnosed with Alzheimers when in fact, it was low potassium. After they put her on potassium pills, she was just fine!
Be sure they check everything and let us know how she is doing. These kinds of things should not happen to a gracious, gentlewoman.
Posted by: Judy | March 20, 2008 at 07:54 PM
Hang in there with her, Lisa. It's a bumpy night, but has its rewards.
Posted by: ronni | March 25, 2008 at 08:49 AM
Just getting caught up. (It's been a bit rough.)
I am sorry to hear your MIL is having trouble with faulty circuits. (A tech geek friend of mine described his father's Alzheimer's that way. It helped him cope. Not sure what his dad thought about it.) I do hope the docs can pinpoint where Margaret's problem is and that it's fixable. ~LA
Posted by: LA | March 27, 2008 at 06:56 PM
This is totally off topic, but I wanted to ask if you were following The Richardson trial ( pictured rocks death ) I figured you were being that you love the true crime...
Posted by: Lana | April 11, 2008 at 12:50 PM