Obviously, my name is still on a few Republican calls lists, even though I stopped drinking that Flav-R-Ade* a long time ago. I've been getting the odd political call lately. I have to admit, I like to mess with them, which is kind of mean of me, since I used to be one of those call center volunteers.
Call Center Volunteer: "Will you be voting in the Republican primary?"
Me: No.
CCV: May I ask why not?
Me: Um, because I'm not Republican?
CCV: (confused silence since CCV is staring at a list with my name on it as a Republican)
Me: Look, I stopped believing the Republican fairy tale a long time ago. You folks just need to get your call lists updated.
CCV: (recovering rather nicely as only an earnest little neo-con in training can) What could make you return to the Republican party?
Me: The war in Iraq stops, health care is available at no charge to all Americans, some fat white man who has never been pregnant stops thinking he knows best what I should do with my body, stem cell research is not considered voodoo, the truth about 9/11 is finally told, same sex marriages are accorded the same recognition as any other marriage, I never hear anything about religion in relation to politics, uh, let me think, I'm sure I can come up with more totally reasonable expectations from government. So, which of your candidates is on board with that so far?
CCV: (crickets)
Me: Okay, well, thanks for your call and now, can you cross me off that list?
*Contrary to popular belief, the people who died during Jonestown drank Flav-R-Ade, not Kool-Aid.
I love your response and bet you left the caller speechless - mind whirling as to how to answer you.
No Republican will ever call me - they know better.
Should be an interesting election year.
Posted by: Jo Ann | January 13, 2008 at 06:20 PM
Shoot, I could not make the chocklitt site come up. It is prolly because my laptop has been having dyspepsia.
I am so proud of you Lisa for your conversion. I am hoping it did not involve full submersion into the watahs! My nerbs so do knot need this election chip that I have already sent in my absentee ballot and the county here has almost half the populus voting absentee and most of us have already sent them in. Also, the local Democratic caucus declared for Obama. Stirring the watah as usual.
Posted by: moi | January 13, 2008 at 08:21 PM