Monday, Martin and I had several errands to run and were out of the house most of the day. When we got home, I checked the answering machine and had a message from my friend Loretta.
Our mutual friend Ronni's husband had committed suicide.
To say I was shocked is an understatement. Last year, for my big 40th birthday party, Jim and Ronni came to Michigan from Texas and spent a few days as our guests. We had great fun. Martin and I enjoyed their company so much. Jim and Martin had a lot of fun, both being history buffs.
Jim tickled me. He was so pleased to have scored a couple of heavyweight tee shirts on sale at Meijer's. He thought my pepper grinder from McCormick was the bomb. He bought a Jesus action figure doll in Hell. He liked driving our old Focus SVT because it was a manual and it was fun to drive. He liked bloody marys. So do I.
Now, I'm really pissed at him. My heart breaks for Ronni. No matter what the problem, suicide isn't the answer. It's the ultimate selfish eff you to everyone you know, especially your family.
Ronni is an exceptionally strong woman but this has gobsmacked me in such a way, I can't imagine what she is feeling right now. I'll say what she said: If you are a praying person, a prayer wouldn't be a bad thing right now. If you aren't a praying person, please send her positive thoughts and energy during this terrible time.
Love ya, Ronni.
Thanks so much, Lisa! That means a lot to me.
We did have such a wonderful time visiting you!
It's OK to be pissed at him--I am. In fact, if he wasn't dead, I would have to smack him.
I don't feel very strong, in fact, just the opposite.
Thanks, Lisa!
Posted by: ronni | August 24, 2007 at 12:45 AM
I am truly sorry. Kat
Posted by: kat | August 24, 2007 at 01:58 PM
We had a conversation about this last night. My daughter and I are survivors of suicide. My ex-husband committed suicide on Sept 4, 1995 and it STILL affects everything I do. He was a good man, good father and after our divorce a good friend. I went to high school with him, graduated with him, dated him, married him and divorced him, and buried him all in a period of 25 years. I still miss the guy--he was a great guy BUT he didn't think for one minute what he was doing to Jenn and me when he took his own life. After a few years I began to realize that there was absolutely NOTHING I did to cause this and NOTHING I could to do prevent it. I hope Ronni will be fine and her son will heal also. I will keep both of them in my prayers and would like to be kept abreast of their healing progress. It takes a long time so I hope Ronni will be patient--it gets bad before it gets better and then it improves. I am sure that Ronni and her son will heal--they are in my prayers!!!!!!
It's O.K. for Ronni to feel lost, scared and zapped of strength and she will for a while and she should allow herself to FEEL everything. Not to block it out. She is in my prayers.
Posted by: Beth | August 25, 2007 at 02:03 PM
Beth, you sound very wise, and I'm sorry to hear of your experience. It's one of those things that's unfortunately more common than many people realize.
I think offering your experience is a very caring thing for you to do.
Posted by: Nadine | August 27, 2007 at 03:19 PM
Hey Lisa,
That's terrible news! I feel so bad for Ronni, I met them at your party and they seemed so nice. I hope she stays strong through all of this. Take care!
Posted by: Jen | August 28, 2007 at 12:36 PM
OMG! Ronni, First my thoughts, prayers, and open arms are out there for you. Lisa, Martin, I extend the same to you with an addition, I thank you for including us at your B-day party so to been able to meet Ronni and Jim. Thank you.
Posted by: Chip | August 30, 2007 at 05:55 PM
Thank you all. It really does help.
Posted by: ronni | September 17, 2007 at 09:08 AM