Ed. Note: At least for a few days.
The more I read about the Tara Grant case, the disturbed I become. The Laci Peterson case affected me very much, as do Jessica Fear and Paige Renkoski. Things I think about and turn over and over in my mind, and just don't make any real sense. These are women that could have been me.
The Raven Jeffries case has been much on mind as well. She has haunting eyes. Whoever murdered her and set her on fire and dumped her in a field is still walking amongst us. And why isn't there more news about her and the presumed search for her killer?
Is it because she is a little biracial girl with braids from a not so great neighborhood? Not a little blond haired blued eyed girl from a nicer area not filled with questionable characters?
She bears a resemblance to my daughter Mia.
If Mia went missing and turned up dead and burned in a field, would she receive the same treatment and lack of attention Raven apparently has?
It not only enrages me, it scares me and disappoints me.
How do I know it's time to take a true crime break for a few days?
I think of dreams as your subconscious taking a dump. I very rarely remember my dreams. Snatches that mean little that I don't dwell on.
Last night, I had a horrible dream. More like a nightmare. My dear friend Tammy and I were in some sort of combination train station/mall in Germany. It had casinos, wine bars, restaurants, stores. Mia was with us and about seven. It was enormous and I somehow became separated from Tammy and Mia. I eventually found Tammy but Mia wasn't with her and she thought Mia had been with me. We searched for her and security was involved and they searched for Mia. At some point I saw notes they had taken that said "Dump" and I lost it, thinking my daughter was in a dump.
I was crying in my sleep, grinding my teeth (my jaw hurts today) and it was really vivid and really terrifying and completely unreal but it has disturbed me all day.
And that's how I know I need to take a few steps back from the crime and mayhem and my death hag thing for a bit. The trial for Jessica Fear's murder starts on April 19 and I plan on attending it. I think Jessica's story needs to be told. I've never been to a trial other than divorce court (my own) and I need to prepare emotionally.
If I didn't care, I couldn't write about it. But I also don't want to be a total bowl of jello through the whole thing. I need to be able to give Jessica the dignity she deserves and not blubber.
To begin with Lisa, you must understand that dreams or in your case NIGHTMARES are just that. Far cry from reality.
Mia is very protected, very watched and with eagles eyes at that.
All of the crimes that are going on today bother me also. I have two granddaughters and one more on the way. I would not allow anyone who hurt them to stand trial---and I am not a violent person.
Lisa, take a deep breath and just breathe SLOWLY---see reality the way it should be. You have Martin, he'll protect you and Mia with his life--this I know. You have Margaret and Peter--they would protect Mia with their lives! They would not let anything happen to you. And you have yourself and you know that you would protect Mia with your life.
And you have the power of prayer and God. Believe, your destiny has already been written. God gave you an ability to dissect crimes, write about crimes and hold us all interested to the point of involvement. Without your taking on these cases alot of us would not be as interested in them as we are.
I want you to take a "leave" from the crime element because I think you need a break and then when you feel alive again--hit it again.
Lets talk about LIFE!
Posted by: Beth | March 16, 2007 at 10:05 AM
Lisa, you can allow a guest blogger from time to time when you need a break.
Plus, Spring has sprung! Time to wander the streets of Brighton with a camera.
Posted by: vero | March 16, 2007 at 10:13 AM
Not in Michigan, Ronni! We had an inch of snow yesterday, even if it is mostly all melted today.
It's all gray and brown around here but a picture blog entry is a good idea!
Posted by: Lisa | March 16, 2007 at 10:19 AM
Thank you, Beth, that was very encoraging and very good advice that I will heed.
Posted by: Lisa | March 16, 2007 at 06:23 PM