Crossroads

And no, I don't mean that allegedly awful movie Britney Spears made which thankfully, I've never had to suffer through.

I'm looking for a job since I don't expect my current position will be around much longer.  I am sick to death of bookkeeping although I know it's what I'm good at.  I am just burned out and bored with it.  No mystery to it, no challenge.

I've actually considered going back to school lately, a thought that kind of horrifies me.  I've thought about getting an MSW but research shows it would take me around five years and the market is saturated. I've thought about becoming a certified nursing assistant because it's a steady job, I like helping people and as long as I'm not the one bleeding, I do okay.  I have no desire to be a nurse but I'd like to do something somewhat altruistic.

I keep thinking, I'm 40 and I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. 

The dilemma is that I really do know what I want to do.  I just need to get the courage to pursue it.  I'd like to be a stay at home mom to Mia and write stuff.  I don't even care if I can sell it or get published, I would just like to try. 

Rather ironic since my blog has been sadly neglected lately.

I think the first step is to make a conscious effort to write something here everyday, be it useless drivel or something worthwhile.

Where is that post on recent developments in the Oakland County Child Killer case?  Where is the featured missing person?  All wandering around in my head and needs to be put out there.

As a side note:  Long ago, I wrote a fictional short story about Courtney Love that is posted here. (If you'd like to read it, it's under the category, Life With Courtney.)  So Courtney has a blog (girlfriend can't spell) but whoops, someone found the story and pointed it out to her in her comments, which she actively participates in.  I don't know if she's read it or not, but I haven't gotten a nasty gram from her yet and that's a good thing, since I'd be scared if Courtney got all mean on me.  Her blog is actually quite charming, who knew?

I'm at a crossroads.  Forty is the new 30 and I'm going to make some decisions that will positively affect me and lead me to what I want to do.  Why am I so scared?  Stick around for the ride, won't you?

Comments

[nursenicole]

I will so totally stick around! So sorry about the valley girl stuff just now, but I am exactly where you are. I want to get out of health care and do something else. That feeling where you are not sure where to point your compass is a bit nauseating, but I am a firm believer in things working out as they are supposed to. If you enter the realm of health care, I guarantee you will never be bored again. Every day is completely different and you use every last inch of you mind, body, and soul...it is a privileged place to work as it gives you loads of perspective on life.

[Nadine]

Does it ever get any easier? I'm 46, and I still don't know what I want to do, aside from making lots of money. Do I ever have to grow up?

[ronni]

So, DO IT! All you need is for you and Martin to each have some sort of computer work-from-home job, and you can do all sorts of things!

[Beth]

I went back to school when I was 40. By the time I was 51 I had my MBA. I wish I could afford to go to law school. I think that would be the most fascinating thing to do. Go back Lisa---you will have your degree in no time. Alot of college courses are taken online at home, in your own time. Like after Mia goes to bed you sit in the computer room and go to class.
GO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sarah]

Lis, go for it. I too am feeling that whole "What am I doing with my life? Which direction do I want to go in? What it best for my husband and son? I do like my job, but being a salesperson in the beer and wine industry I can't help but feel that I am not doing much good. Actually, probably more harm than good.
So, I have had a few interviews lately, for two different companies, and am hopefully, most likely going to get an offer from one of them. Yep, a little less pay, but definately more time with my son and Mr. Robinson. AND it will most likely be far more personally rewarding than selling alcohol!