I had this idea in my head that when I turned 40, I would finally feel like I was all grown up. That my career would be settled, I'd start buying Mommy jeans and highlight my hair and drink lots of Diet Coke and I'd just stop listening to the Cure or the Violent Femmes really loudly in the car and singing along and I'd somehow magically become this grown-up middle aged person.
I am middle-aged, I have the grey hair to prove it, but in my head, I still think I'm a kid. I'm still in contact with some girlfriends I've known since I was a very little girl, Kristi and Kelly, known them since kindergarten. I still have our kindergarten class picture with Mrs. Clark on it.
I'm still close to friends from middle school, freshman year of high school, Darr and Sarah and Tammy. I still often think of us as 14, 15, 16 year old gawky teen-agers. Could we have imagined then that we would all be mothers now, with the full spectrum of age in the kids? I wish we all lived closer so our kids could see each other often. I wonder if they would all turn out to be friends as well?
Recently, I ran into an old male friend from middle school and we've been hanging out a bit. He and Martin get along really well and it's strange to think, he was a guy I've known since 7th grade.
I don't think of any of my friends as grown-ups, either, although they are.
I forget that I am 40 and middle-aged and I can't eat just anything at any time without suffering consequences. I eat a McDonald's bacon egg and cheese biscuit nearly every weekday morning and I used to bring my work friend Andrew a sausage egg and cheese biscuit when they were sending me free coupons. Andrew made me stop getting on for him, free or not, because he said I was trying to kill him. He also tells me that if I keep eating microwave lunches, like Stouffer's and Marie Callendar, I'm going to die early. I tell him that I'm going to live forever and all the preservatives keep me looking young. NOTE: I gave up on the Lean Cuisine and Healthy Choice. They may be low in fat but they stuffed full of other crap, tons of sodium for instance. They may as well taste good and the Lean Cuisine and Healthy Choice were both crap as far as taste.
Getting heartburn is something I used to scoff at. Someone would tell me, "Oh, I can't eat that! Heartburn." I'd think, "Ah, you big wuss." Not anymore. No more guacamole with kamikazes. No more Taco Bell. No more pop. I really don't miss pop.
I forget that my body is not as strong and I'm not as fit as I used to be. I don't have boundless energy like I used to, although I do still have the overall attention span of a smart dog.
I also have friends who are older than I am. I don't think of them as middle-aged, either. They range in age from a couple years older than me to a couple decades and I think they are all fantastic women. My sister is 14 years older than I am and I think she is one of the most beautiful people I know, both inside and out. (Love you, Sandi, what are you two doing for Thanksgiving?)
Being grown-up doesn't mean you still can't have some fun, right?
I think it's so cool that we are still friends with people we've known for such a long time. It's even cooler that we found each other again and chose to be friends again, rather than just hang on to old friendships out of habit.
So what guy have you been hanging around with you've known since 7th grade? You didn't mention that before. Speaking of the like, we still need to find KP. This is ridiculous. He didn't fall off the face of the earth, I'm sure.
I hope the move went well. I've been terrible about emailing, we had much illness in our house. Baby Boy almost ended up in the hospital, it was very scary.
See ya, Broad, I'll email soon! Let me know what's up!
Posted by: Darr | November 06, 2006 at 12:30 AM
Read my mind once again....so this is what our parents and grandparents were alluding to way back when. I'm not 40 yet, but will be in a couple of years, and I am NOT ready for it. You, on the other hand, don't look a day over 32. :)
Posted by: Michelle | November 06, 2006 at 01:30 PM
I'm feeling maudlin and sentimental tonight, and I'm not in touch with anyone from my youth. We moved so often, that losing people became a habit.
I envy your long friendships.
Darr, sorry to hear that baby boy has been sick. I hope he's on the mend.
Posted by: Vero | November 06, 2006 at 10:22 PM
Thanks, Vero. He is definitely on the mend. He actually lost three pounds in a week! But now he's eating like a horse and has probably gained it all back already.
And Lis, as for you not looking a day over 32, I still see us all as 15-17 year olds. At least it's legal for us to drink alcohol now, and there is no homework to be done. Not that I ever did mine.
Posted by: Darr | November 07, 2006 at 01:11 AM
LMAO!!!!!
AHHHHHH to be 40 again and to be able to remember what my name is, when asked!
I think that no matter how old you are you are never grown up until you have lost both of your parents.
I think you're great, Lisa, and as thin as you are you have a long way to go before you need to worry about what you eat!
Posted by: Beth | November 07, 2006 at 10:22 PM
I was told that the ego stops developing when you start using drugs. I was 13 when I started and 33 when I stopped. I'm 47 now so I actually feel like 27 on the inside but the body rebels. Anyway, I think the soul is eternal. I like that song by Elvis Costello, Veronica. At'el be me.
Posted by: Donna | November 08, 2006 at 06:28 PM
I just can't think of you as 40? It doesn't seem possible, you've got the fountain of youth thing going on.
I really do believe there's some truth to the ol' adage 'you're as young as you feel.' With that said, I'm 19 (at least in my head!)
Posted by: Angela | November 11, 2006 at 11:51 AM