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I wish I could join you there in person, Lisa. I will be there with you in spirit.

I will light candles here in California for little Ricky Holland. May he rest in peace.


I will of course accompany you to the upcoming vigil in the spirit of family solidarity. As I said earlier it would indeed be at the very least rude if I did not. However, on thinking the matter over tonight I have this thought to put forward. What is our motivation for going?

There is the obvious one, this poor little boy was murdered by his parents. Now, if it was his Bio-Parents I would not have thought twice. The fact that they are his adoptive parents has made me pause for a second.

The line of reasoning is this: We are self proclaimed advocates for adoption. What are we saying by bringing more publicity to an event that is well meaning but also throws a negative light on adoption? Sure this is one case in a million but why help to publicize it when it throws such a negative light on adoption and is far more in the public eye than the many, many, good adoptions that occur everyday? Why give more and more fodder to those that appose adoption? You know that if they haven't already, they will have a field day with this. Do you really want to be apart of strengthening their case?

I honestly feel for Ricky Holland, this was a terrible tragedy, no more can be said. I do however wonder about the impact on the adoption issue as a whole. Not to sound callus at all, I am not. The fact is however that these things do happen everyday, maybe not in our backyards, but they happen. Is it in the best interest of the cause for adoption to help bring this to the attention of the media and some "hate" groups by lending our support?

As I said in the beginning, I will support your decision as always, but I would like you to think about it before you commit yourself fully.

Forever devoted to you, Martin


Martin, very insightful. Thank you and bless you for being such a devoted husband.

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