Dear and gentle readers, I am sure you read that title and assumed that I meant relocating at a swanky hotel with an in-room jacuzzi, twenty-four hour room service and an outdoor pool with the ubiquitous cabana boy who brings me non-stop Mimosas, right? Those nails don't camp!
The Queen Of England Does Not Camp Nor Does Lisa.
I hate to break it to you, maybe that old prune doesn't camp, but this younger, better preserved prune does and has. I've seen the Grateful Dead 18 times, how could I not have camped at some point? This time, however, I am fairly certain I will not be coercing anyone who has just taken LSD to set up my tent, which will fall down approximately every 18 minutes during the night. This person then decided they should jump the fire several times because you know, fire looks so inviting when you are tripping.
When I lived in PA, I used to go camping all the time, around the Delaware Water Gap, The Appalachian Trail and even in New York State. Strap on a backpack, clinking with the beer cans, my trusty hiking boots on, smeared with DEET, illegally bought in Canada by someone, tromping through some woods up some trail. Yes, boys and girls, Miss Priss pissed in the woods upon occasion and took showers in a river. That Ivory really does float, you know.
A guy I work with owns property in Mt. Pleasant. He and his wife invited us to come up this week-end. They are on the Shiawassee River and it's a beautiful spot and yes, I will be sleeping in a tent. I will be bathing in the river. As long as I have brushed teeth and clean hair, I am good to go. Thankfully, there is a two-seater toilet accommodation. Hopefully, Mr. Stinky Pants, a.k.a Martin, will not choose to occupy the second seat while I am occupying the first. I don't think the two-seater is equipped with a gas mask.
Yes, dear and gentle readers, there will be pictures of me camping. Why do I have the feeling that Chip, my co-worker, and Martin, both of whom are still 12, mentally, will take great delight in Mia's flashlight, which in in the shape of a dog and when you open it's mouth to turn the light on, it barks?
What do I plan on doing? Besides a whole lot of nothing? Sitting by the river, reading the transcripts from the grand jury proceedings of the State of California v. Cameron Brown.
Good times, kids, good times.
Gather up all the gallon milk jugs you can find, and fill them with water and leave them in the sun all day. You can then pour the warmed water over yourself (or get some cute Martin-type to do it for you). It works.
Remember the story about the guy who was down the hole, looking up?
Don't sit on the two-seater with your phone in your pocket.
Posted by: vero | June 29, 2006 at 09:16 PM
Lisa, we'll swap pictures of our weekend camping when I get back. Have fun and enjoy the beauty. You can always soak in the tub when you get home. Take lots of bug repellant and sunscreen..and pictures.
Posted by: CG | June 29, 2006 at 10:20 PM
In which in the comment section, her Husband will tell you all how she does when camping. In the last 15 to 20 years, the bugs have gotten bigger, the ground harder, the river colder, and she never had to contend with 3 year old Mia camping for the first time and a scaredy-cat dog to boot. Dear and Gentle readers... I'll take the pics and give you the scoop later! Ah hahaha!
- Martin
P.S. Because I've posted this as insurance, I know she won't complain all weekend. Not now that I have threatened to give it up if she does. LMAO... I am devious aren't I?
Posted by: Martin | June 30, 2006 at 03:07 AM
Oh and in addition to Mia's flashlight, I take great pleasure in her battery operated "Bubble gun". That will be making the trip too...trust me!
- Martin
Posted by: Martin | June 30, 2006 at 03:09 AM
Enjoy the Shiawassee, Lisa. Yes, very beautiful area--unfortunately, the river isn't as clean as it used to be. Hell, not many are! Remember to seam-seal that tent before you go--stormy weather coming our way Saturday night! Reminds me of my solo trip to Isle Royale two years ago. Nice weather, for the most part. But, got nailed for about 8 miles on Day Three. Thank God for Marmot and their incredible rain gear! Now, about that acid at that 'Dead show.....
Posted by: T | June 30, 2006 at 07:22 AM
Martin of the barking flashlight and bubble-gun, you really should bring some stuff for MIA to play with! LOL
Lisa, you adventurous soul, you! Have fun!
Posted by: Nadine | June 30, 2006 at 03:06 PM
Lisa, one of my favorite parts in your entry; coercing someone under the influence of LSD to set up your tent!
That was priceless!
Posted by: Nadine | June 30, 2006 at 03:23 PM
"P.S. Because I've posted this as insurance, I know she won't complain all weekend. Not now that I have threatened to give it up if she does. LMAO... I am devious aren't I?"
Martin, I'm scribbling this down in my psychology notes. Brilliant! lol
Posted by: dragonlady474 | July 01, 2006 at 10:46 PM
We want pictures!
Posted by: CG | July 04, 2006 at 04:55 PM
OK, OK, OK, I want to know is how did she know exactly how an what was going to happen during the weekend? Yes I am the same chip that she came up camping with and just a brief correction that Lisa was unaware of is that it was the chippewa river (aka. da chippy), but HOLY COW, she pretty much hit da nail on da head. and by da way Lisa you an your readers will be happy to know I do not act 12 years old, I act 12 1/2 years old. God I cant wait to see the posting describing the weekend. by da way, yes, the flashlight was one of many point of interest for Martin an myself. GRRRRRRRRR Woooof Woooof
Posted by: Chip | July 06, 2006 at 08:56 AM