The Lisa Life

Last One In Michigan, Turn Out The Lights

Michigan is a dying state.

Don't get me wrong, I love Michigan.  It has some wonderful things to offer.  We have everything from the gritty industrial vibe of Detroit to the well-scrubbed fundamentalist bastion of Grand Rapids and the western part of the state (famous for cereal! and tulips! and a gay nude beach!)to the wilds of the Upper Peninsula. Hunt, fish camp, as the commercial says.  Say Yah To De U. P. eh? We have the one of the hottest NCAA football rivalries in the country going.  Family feuds occur during the week of the the U of M/Michigan State game. Actual fisticuffs occur.  We have the Red Wings!  We have the Pistons!  We have Mackinac Island and a town called Hell and Michigan turnarounds and hey, Bob Segar is from here.  On the downside, so are Gerald Ford and Eminem and Kid Rock.  So are the Lions and the Tigers.  We make some really kick ass chemicals in Midland and only a few people working there had kids with birth defects.

People in Michigan tend to be fun, except in the Grand Rapids and Holland area, where it is damn hard to tear them away from their Bibles and the stupid tulips.

Michigan is slowly dying again.  I remember the recession in the mid-70s.  Although my dad was management at a GM plant, he was laid off.  I remember them stressing about making their house payment.  (It was $142 a month,  isn't that crazy?  I spend more on groceries every week.)  I remember the even/odd gas shortage days. 

Anyway.  Got lost in nostalgia there, didn't I?

Times were bad in Michigan then.

Times are bad in Michigan now.

The Big Three are closing many of the remaining plants, which has a huge domino effect on so much of our economy.  Jenny From The Block, our governor who is actually Canadian with a crooked husband, has had very little luck luring other businesses to the state.

I know so many people who are underemployed, unemployed or on the verge of losing their job.

I work in the new housing sector.  Livingston County is allegedly the fastest growing county in Michigan.  New home starts (the number of permits pulled for a new build) are down 70% from two years ago. 

Many people are considering a move to another state or country.  Don't think, dear and gentle readers, that this has not been a topic of discussion in our household.  The choices?  Australia or Mexico, countries that are hurting for professionals and office type people, and well, anywhere else a British passport can take you.  Reminds me of everyone who bolted for Texas back in the day.

I love Michigan but the state of my state scares me.

So, if the last family standing in Michigan doesn't mind, would you please turn out the lights when you bail?

Gratiutous Cute Picture

Taken last week by Paw Paw with his new spiffy digital camera.

Just In Case You Ever Doubted

Just in case you ever doubted whether or not I really am a geek or not, I rented Pretty In Pink tonight.

Nothing would make me happier than a John Hughes marathon.  And indeed, I have watched those on some obscure cable station back in the olden days when we had Dish Network.

I had a boss years and years ago who thought I looked like Molly Ringwald.  I'm not quite sure if that is a complement or an insult.

In the meantime, Echo And The Bunnymen ROCK, dude.

The Kingbees

Does anyone else remember The Kingbees?  I saw them at Hart Plaza in Detroit for one of the WABX free concerts. I'm pretty sure I was wearing parachute pants that day. I think it was WABX that sponsored those concerts, correct me if I'm wrong. It took me a long time but I finally scored the double CD of The Kingbees.

NOTE: These free concerts were held on Tuesday afternoons and yeah, I skipped school for them.  I was such a rebel, you know.  It was senior year and I always asked my mom and she always let me since I was pulling down a pretty high grade point.

Gotta love that cool Detroit rockabilly vibe. 

I'm grooving to Sweet Sweet Girl and My Mistake.  Cripes, how many times did I dance to My Mistake?

Great driving music.  Picture one of those great sunny warm Michigan spring days that make you remember why you A) Live in Michigan and B) Own a convertible. (These particular days happen at least once every year during Monsoon Season, a.k.a "Spring" in Michigan.) You've got on your Ray Bans circa 1983 with the top down, a cool battered leather jacket, the tight stonewash jeans with a pair of stilettos and a ripped up lace tee shirt and The Kingbees or Marshall Crenshaw in the tape deck and all is right with the world.  You could not possibly be more cool.

I had to choose between school/And a rock-n-roll band/I made up my mind/To rock just the best as I can/I don't want no teachers/Or their rules/You got it right/I'm nobodies fool.

I must be turning 40 soon, I'm totally into reliving my misspent youth lately.

Shake Bop, anyone?

Insects And The People Who Love Them

I just took a shower with a spider the size of Norman Mailer hanging in the corner of the ceiling.

I only realized this when I got out of the shower and put in my contact lenses.

Had I have known, much hysteria would have occurred.

I hate insects.  I loathe and detest them.

As it was, since I couldn't see and it just looked like a mark on the wall, I thought my handy dandy Method Daily Shower Cleaner (nicely scented like ylang ylang) was failing me.

Nope, it was a spider the size of Norman Mailer.  It's a wonder we both fit in the tub at the same time.

Everybody Needs A Little Bit Of Blues

Last night was Martin's birthday.  We had a rare night out sans children.  We ended up going to Champ's.(Voted best burger in Livingston County for many years running, God knows why since it's a freaking grease pit.  You walk out of there and you smell like an overdone cheeseburger for a week later).  More editorial on Champ's in a bit.  We did have the occasion to hear some really great Blues from this band.  You know, everybody needs a little bit of Blues on occasion.  I was chatting with the lead singer's girlfriend.  Maybe if I write them a fan letter, we can get them to play my birthday party.

Champ's.  Three rules of thumbs for Champ's.  Rule Number One: Don't act like you are having any fun.  Rule Number Two: You aren't allowed more than three alcoholic drinks over the course of the night even if you are there six hours.  Rule Number Three: Best whisper into your beer or you will be cut off.

Martin ordered a martini (which was a really tiny glass, four ounces at most) and was told when he finished it that there was a three drink limit on those, much like Long Island Ice Teas. NOTE: What the fuck?  It's a bar, where people go to drink and how do you compare a four once glass of martini to a twenty ounce Long Island with seven kinds of liquor?  I shouldn't even say this, but I will.  The waitress used to bop my dad.  Indeed, she had the balls to come to his memorial service and cry.  She never came to see him when he was sick and housebound, but she dragged her fat ass out of the trailer park to come to his memorial and cry.  She was probably sad because she would no longer have a well-off older man to help supplement her income since I know he used to throw her money when she cried poor. She pretends she has no idea of who I am, but she gets her digs in anyway, since I called her a fat pathetic bitch at my dad's memorial. As in asking my last ex-husband, "What the fuck is that fat stupid pathetic bitch {insert her name here} doing here? What goddamned nerve!") She is a couple years older than me and last night?  Rode hard, put away wet.  Lots of mileage on that one. She looks awful.  I was a nice girl last night and bit my tongue when I wanted really badly to ask her, "So, is your loser husband still doing meth or is he in jail this time?"

Best way to eliminate any chance of a tip?  Ask the waitress at Champ's.

A shame because the band was really great and will be playing there again.  Sadly, we will not be patronizing Champ's anytime soon again.  What makes this all the more ironic?  There are always the same Town Drunks holding up the bar whenever we go in.  They never get cut off.