Fun With Real Estate

I've been looking for a new dwelling recently in our effort to downsize.  It's been very interesting.

I looked at an adorable cottage in between Little Crooked Lake and Big Crooked Lake and it had a stunning view, two levels of decking, it came with a pontoon and oh, did I mention, it was on a lake? Cute as could be from the outside. It allegedly had three bedrooms. This was not the reality. It had three twin beds crammed into walk in closets.  There was literally no room for anything else in these alleged bedrooms except the twin beds.  That would be fine if you were a family of Munchkins who were also nudist Munchkins and didn't need a dresser or closet to store clothes since you didn't wear clothes, being a nudist Munchkin and all. THERE WAS NOT ONE CLOSET IN THE WHOLE PLACE! For a regular size family like mine who is not nudist, this just wasn't happening.

Jail cells are bigger than these alleged bedrooms.  Inmates at least have lockers to store their clothes in.

This evening, I looked at a condo in Howell.  My husband had arranged the appointment with the real estate woman and since Martin is still not feeling well from the abscessed tooth (not to mention how goofy he gets on the painkillers, yeah, please sublet this condo to us and oh by the way, here's my husband who is generally charming but don't mind him drooling on his shirt or wandering off and getting lost) my mother-in-law, Margaret and I went to see it.

The real estate woman was a total wacked out bitchy grandma.  She was old.  Really old.  I'd say 80s, but maybe it was just her gravel Gerty whiskey sours and Pall Malls for lunch voice.  She was Grandma age but horror to the kid who's grandma she was.  "Come here my little one, so Granny can smother you in Cool Coral Estee Lauder kisses and rub some Shalimar on over your fresh baby scent!  Oh, did I poke your eye out with my cocktail ring?  So sorry!"  That kind of grandmother.  She had on high heel mules, for the love of God and the Sweet Baby Jesus.  She had on Desparate Housewives shoes versus Golden Girl shoes.  She had on a silk tank top with sequin thingies and a push up bra (ain't no way that was nature) and it was kind of sad and certainly scary.

The condo, however, is fabulous (stainless steel appliances and first floor laundry. fireplace, great deck) and best of all?  BEST OF ALL?  SOMEONE ELSE MOWS THE GODDAMN GRASS!  Yes, we are applying for it and hope to get it. 

I'm not thrilled with the location but I can deal with just about anything for a while and it's new and it's shiny and it's in the price range we were hoping for and we can take a dog with us and we won't be sleeping in closets and becoming nudists just so we can see a goddman lake.  I like in the Great Lakes State, if I want to see a goddamn lake, I'll get in my car and drive two miles.

Comments

[dragonlady474]

Househunting was kind of fun for me, it was the actual packing and moving that sucked. I'll keep you guys in my prayers to find something perfect for you! Peace, quiet, lovely location and maybe even a little playmate for the little one. :)

[Lana]

Good luck Lisa, You know that just recently I have been there/done that. ( we've actually had 4 places in the last 5 years...) Sounds like you have found a nice place though in the condo, Different than what your used to I am guessing, but it sounds great... A Home is only what YOU bring into it, and knowing you, wherever you "hang your hat" it will be full of LOVE.

[receptionista]

for some reason i deal with a lot of real estate agents now that i am a copier girl, and have found almost all of them to be awful (mean and pushy and cheap). they freak me out. i think all of the women in that line of work are unnaturally painted/primped, done-up. hopefully you will get this place and not have to deal with one again for a while!