The Post In Which The Author Discloses That She Has Indeed Become Her Mother

I'm going to be 39 tomorrow.

Holy Shit, Batman, how did that happen?

I'm not real thrilled about this birthday and I can't even claim it's my quarter-life or mid-life crisis, because I already went through that at 30 when I let my father talk me into taking over a lease on a red Corvette.

My mom claimed 39 for several years.  In fact, until it became difficult to explain how she had a 26 year old daughter and was a grandmother. 

Last week, it was brought home to me how much I am becoming my mother it scares me dear and gentle readers.  Oh how it scares me.

In many significant ways, my mother and I were very different.  She grew up as an orphan after a certain point and never enjoyed the love and support of her family.  She became a teacher and worked with developmentally disabled kids.  She drank a good pot of coffee every day and for cocktails, she liked weird 60s cocktail-y type things like Rob Roys and Ward 8s. 

It's the little ways that we are the same that frighten me.

I won't wear a skirt or dress without a slip, no matter how useless the slip is (say a denim dress or a lined skirt).

I always have a couple slightly used Kleenex stuffed in my bathrobe pocket.  I'm sure any moment I will start tucking them under my sleeve near my wrist for easier access.

I have a big, old Coach purse that is indestructible and that I've had for years. I don't even remember how long I've had it except I know it was a birthday gift from my mom and I lived in PA at the time so that's over 14 years ago. Every once in a while, I try to get all trendy and buy a "cute" purse, but I always go back to the big old Coach bag.  Mine is black, my mom's was brown.  Same exact model, though with the heavy brass fittings.  I'm going to be buried with that damn purse, I know.

Like my mom, I wear one type of perfume, although I have a big shelf full of perfume and once in a while think I'm going to "branch out."  It never happens, though. 

I like to read and always have my nose stuck in a book.  I can only read one book at a time and if it's boring I still finish it although I will skim a lot.  Same with my mom, although she tended more toward fiction mysteries and I'm all about true crime.  She did start my true crime death hag thing in that we watched Helter Skelter together.  I don't remember how old I was at the time, but I know I was under ten. 

NOTE: My dad was having no part of that and went to watch All In The Family or The Gong Show on the little black and white.  Something that wouldn't make his head hurt.  I seem to remember my dad saying something like Charlie Manson was nuttier than a shithouse rat.  (He thought the same about Jimmy Carter.)

Until my son Dexter was about 7, I had him totally convinced that I did have eyes in the back of my head and could see what he was doing behind my back.  I was totally convinced of this as well, as a child.

The biggest thing lately that made me realize that I've become my mother happened last week.  I was dressing to go to work and I suddenly pulled out a pair of white Keds, stuck them on my feet without socks and went out the door.

WHITE KEDS, PEOPLE. 

The had never been worn, although they are at least 7 years old.  I even remember when I bought them.  It was a time my mom and I were shopping together and she bought a new pair of white Keds.  (My mom only believed you should wear real sneakers if you were participating in an athlete event.) I was with her on this shopping trip so she said, "Lisa, don't you want a new pair of white Keds?"  (Want a new pair?  I didn't own an old pair.)  I probably shrugged and she took that for a yes and asked what size and probably cringed a little when I told her eight and a half, since she was a little bitty thing and wore a 6. 

I am sure I took them home, promptly threw them in the Box Where All Shoes That Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time resided and forgot about them and they eventually worked their way to freedom in my closet.

They somehow worked their way out of that box and onto my feet and now I know, I've become my mother. 

I'm  going to stay 39 for quite a while too.

Comments

[Darr]

Very funny, Lis. Take pleasure and pride in the fact that you don't look anywhere near 39, none of my HHS broads do, in my opinion. But I still can't believe 2/3 of the triplets will now be 39! Can't be, it just can't be. I am holding on to my last 65 days at 38 for dear life.

My Mom is just the opposite from yours, she loves to tell people how old she is. I think she likes the awed faces and compliments that ensue. Mom and I are both Librans, so we share a lot of habits that involve indecision and needing things to look a certain way, and I definitely have her obsession with skin care. But I hope upon all that is holy in this world that I never pick up the habit of wearing pantyhose with sandals, or worse, with shorts!

I already do the thing with the Kleenex tucked in my sleeve near my wrist, if I don't have any pockets. But I got that from Brenda, as I did my insistance on making my grocery list out in order of where things are in the grocery store, which annoys Mark to no end when that means he has to wait for me to re-write the list so that it is correct.

Happy Birthday, Babe! The triplets must get together sometime this year to celebrate our all turning 39. Of course, two of us won't be able to drink, so we'll have to plan on the turning 40 celebration being even more raucous. Have fun tomorrow!

[vero]

A very happy birthday to you!

[Sain't Christopher]

Happy Birthday!! You're now at the age where you have to stretch and limber up before sex.

[Martin]

When I think of your love
I smile from within my heart.
When I think of being with you
I wish we would never part.

Your love is my companion
when days are long and cold.
Your love is my destiny
when our lives grow old.

To be your love forever
is my life's intent.
Your love is my endeavor.
For you are heaven sent.

For you Lisa on your Birthday.

Love Martin

[Dawn]

Happy Birthday, Lisa ~

[Michelle]

Happy 39th Birthday, Lis. Wishing you a wonderful day and a great year!!!

[justin]

Lisa - I love your husband. What a sweetie -That better not have been all for show, Mister! I will be 37 next month and I too have become my mother. I tuck the kleenexes in my sleeve. You make me laugh.

[Stacy]

HAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY! Did you get my message? You have caller ID, right? So you knew that was me?

[Debbie]

Lisa,
I'm glad you are wearing your Keds. I'm 45 and have worn Keds w/o socks all of my life. I don't care what my mother wears. lolol. And don't be embarrassed of a size 8 1/2. My closet is filled with size 8 1/2 Keds. :) Thanks, Debbie