The Lisa Life

A Little Light Reading In The Sun

My dear husband Martin took both children grocery shopping today, allowing me the luxury of a few hours on the deck in the sun with the Bain de Soleil and a good book. Granted, he had to call me no less than three times from Kroger's ("Lis, if I were heavy whipping cream, where would I be?") but I had a couple good hours of sun and a book.

I am currently reading The Gods of Death, by Yaron Svoray with Thomas Hughes (Simon & Schuster, pub.). Svoray is an Israeli Jew who was raised on a kibbutz by Holocaust survivors. After doing his stint in the Israeli Army, where he was quite the soldier, he became a detective, then a journalist. I have also read a few articles he has written and he is an intelligent, emotional writer without being hysterical. The Gods of Death is about his journey to prove or disprove the existence of so-called "snuff" films; pornographic films that culminate in the death of a generally young woman or girl. I'm only about halfway through the book, so I can't tell you if he finds proof or not.

Also good, he has written on the uprising of the Neo-Nazi's in Germany since the fall of the Berlin Wall. Another nasty group of people. Although I have no use for them, I feel as a fellow inhabitant of planet Earth, I should be aware of what's out there.

Just some light reading for the summer.

The Unfestive Balloon Fest

I am such a geek. I was so excited about the Balloon Fest. The Michigan Challenge Balloon Fest is a very Big Deal here in Howell, Michigan. Unfortunately, the timing never seems to be quite right with the weather.

Thunderstorms have plagued the Balloon Fest for years. One year, it was a tornado warning. Not a watch, mind you, when conditions are right for a tornado, but a warning, in that a tornado had actually been spotted.

This year, it was beautiful, sunny, lots of clouds. And an 18 mph wind. Balloons can only launch when the wind is 10 mph or less. So we spent a lot of time walking around, eating carnival food, looking at ye olde Medieval Village. Why is it that people who work in the Medieval Village think they need to adopt fake British/Medieval accents? And badly at that.

We did get to see the stunt parachute divers and I did get some great pictures of that. I drank lemonade that you can only get at carnivals. And I saw far more carnies than I ever hoped to see. Obviously, they don't have dental coverage.

On Cleaning

I have met very few people who truly like to clean. By that I mean the actual physical chore of cleaning. I love for my surroundings to be clean and well organized but I loathe actually sticking my hands in that toilet.

My mother in law, Margaret, loves to clean. It's like a hobby to her. This comes from being a proper English lady. See, back in the day, Queen Elizabeth I used to do "walk-abouts" and visit her people. So every British housewife from the Lady of the Manor to the lowliest serf would frantically clean. You just never knew when the Queen was going to be dropping by. Even though Margaret has lived here in the States for over twenty years, she's still waiting for the Queen. Her dear friend Wendy, in Canada, is just the same. Their houses are showplace model clean. We won't even go into the English style of decor. (HA!)

My mother grew up in foster homes and there were occasions that she was basically used as unpaid maid service. As a result, my mother became a meticulous housekeeper. After my parents were established and it was affordable, my mother hired a cleaning lady. Which was really rather redundant, since my mom used to clean with the cleaning lady.

As a result, I grew up never even making my own bed. I don't think it ever occurred to my mom that it might be a good idea to teach me some basic skills like dusting. Boy, was I in for a shock.

When I went to college, I had no idea how to even do laundry. My mom sent me off with a little notebook filled with directions. "Sort light clothes from dark. Sort whites from light clothes. Sort towels by themselves" and the like. I have no resentment toward my mom for this at all. She loved me very much and was never spoiled ever and she wanted to do everything she could for me and spoil me.

I hate housework. You give me a choice or reading a book on the deck or cleaning my kitchen, well, the kitchen is not getting cleaned. However, I am "house proud" and vain enough to the extent that I clean. I cleaned today. The wonderful thing is that there are so many shortcuts to cleaning now.

Swifter WetJet
Great for cleaning up spills on vinyl, wood or ceramic floors. Good for a touch up, but will not replace the mop. Much more effective than squirting 409 on your floor and sopping it up with a paper towel.

Mr. Clean Erasers
Mr. Clean Erasers are the best thing since sliced bread. They clean up the spills on my ceramic oven top, the counter, scuffs on the floor, marks on the wall, hair dye on the bathroom counter. The uses are endless.

Method Brand Products
I have only been able to find Method products at Target. In price, they are equal to mainstream cleaning products but they smell wonderful and clean great. Some favorites: Grapefruit All Purpose Spray, Melon Bathroom Wipes and my personal favorite, the French Lavender Hand Soap.

Super Iron Out
I live in the country. We have a well and a water softener. However, when the rains come, when the snow melts, when the water softener is short on salt, we get rust. Super Iron Out is no doubt made of things found at Chernobyl, but it gets the rust out immediately. Only use it with all the windows open and the fans going. It's some powerful stuff. It's the only thing I have found that takes out rust without scrubbing. It can also be used on whites in laundry.

Pledge Grab-Its
Another wonderful invention. Disposable dust cloths you can use on everything. They actually pick up the dust, rather than spreading it around. Great for ceiling fans.

Febreeze
I love this stuff. I have three dogs. Sometimes things start to smell like damp dog. Febreeze makes it go away. I have also been know to chase the Husky/Malamute/Wolf and squirt him, since he is old and smells like a wet sock. That sure pisses him off.

Scrubbing Bubbles Disposable Toilet Cleaner
Another wonderful invention. No more unsightly unsanitary toilet brush to contend with and hide. You snap the thing on, clean the toilet, throw or flush it. Buh Bye.

The Trash Compactor
My family seems to make an inordinate amount of garbage. And we live in the state that has ten cent returnable bottles! I got sick of taking the trash out every day, so we asked for a trash compactor from my in-laws for Christmas. It's wonderful! We take out the trash once a week now. The only disadvantage is that the trash is compacted into about 120 pounds and I can't wrestle it myself, but it's very tidy.

You Named Your Baby WHAT?!?

Why do people name their babies such goofy names? Two recent examples: Gwenyth Paltrow naming her baby Apple and Courtney Cox naming hers Coco. Then there is Madonna, who has yet again reinvented herself as Esther.

How can you look at a baby and say, "She looks like Apple!"

If you are planning on becoming a parent, I suggest you read the following websites to help guide you.

http://www.notwithoutmyhandbang.com/babynames

And a little humor about LDS names:
http:wesclark.com/ubn/top.html

Thank you, Mrs. Smith, for those very funny and informative links. You rock!

The Asparagus Fest

I have confirmed that yes, Virginia, there really is an Asparagus Fest in Michigan. Indeed, there is even an Asparagus Queen.

Now that's something I'd want on my resume. Unfortunate I missed it this year.

http://www.oceana.net/naf/

The Cooking Slump

I enjoy cooking. I consider it one of my talents. I am proud of my cooking.

But I do get in cooking slumps. It's very difficult to come up with something appealing every single night. Domino's Pizza Delivers. Quite often to my house, as a matter of fact.

Come summer, I have a difficult time mustering the enthusiasm for cooking. I would much rather be outside and I don't grill. (That's the primary reason I got remarried.)

I am trying to make a better effort lately. Tonight was red beans, rice and sausage. I think tomorrow will be either salads or pizza and Friday will be soft tacos.

There, that's done.

Arguing Over the Internet

Just remember, when you are arguing with someone on a forum or in a chat room, this guy thinks your'e cool.

Balloon Fest

Next week-end we in Livingston County will celebrate Balloon Fest. In August, we will celebrate Melon Fest.

In Michigan, if something even remotely interesting happens in your town, there is a festival to celebrate it. I've heard rumors of a Pork Fest and an Asparagus Fest.

The Balloon Fest is acutally pretty cool. I am looking forward to it. Last year, we had a three week old baby, so attending wasn't a good option. I did, however, see many balloons flying while sitting on my deck. This year, we look forward to seeing the "Glow" on Saturday night first hand, not on the deck.

Okay I tried to do a link to the website and it didn't work. Put in Michigan Challenge in google and it will come up.

I hate it when I am so lame.

Summertime Illiterati Trash

When laying in the sun, working on the tan, it is vitally important to have superb reading material.

I sure missed that yesterday.

I was reading Bestseller, By Olivia Goldsmith. While it is tragic that she recently died from complications during plastic surgery and while First Wife's Club was a cute movie and a boring book, not to trash the dead but she wasn't a great writer.

Not that I think I am so scintillating and erudite, but I am not hawking things I write nor writing roman a clefs about people I know.

A great read: "Scary Monsters and Super Freaks" by Mike Sagar. Subtitle: Stories of Sex,Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll and Murder." Lots of dish on famous/infamous mysteries and controversial deaths. Two best articles in the book: Little Girl Lost, about the porn star screen named Savannah and The Rise and Fall of a Super Freak, about Rick James. Lots of dish, great reporting. Raised in Captivity is also especially compelling to me, since Gary Fannon is a hometown boy of sorts and I think the laws regarding pot/drugs are totally stupid.

Mia

Here is my totally adorable daughter Mia on her first birthday. Could she be a little cuter?

I can take none of the credit for Mia's looks. She is adopted. But she knocks me out, she is just so cute.