I've been looking for a job since April.
I had planned on going back to school to get paralegal certification but for a variety of reasons, financially it's not going to happen right now. I decided to try getting some on the job paralegal training. I figured my nearly twenty years of clerical experience and the fact that I'm not stupid might open a door for me. I wrote what I thought was a very compelling well-crafted cover letter outlining why I wanted to become a paralegal and my willingness to learn. I nitpicked my resume. They both looked very good, I thought. I sent this nice little package out to over twenty local attorneys.
I received one response. That response wasn't to talk about employment or to tell me that it was a stupid way to go about finding a paralegal job. It was instead to ask about a local case that remains unsolved. I had referenced the case in the cover letter as something I had written about.
In the meantime, I have applied for hundreds of jobs. If I am remotely qualified for it, I'll apply. Most of the time, it's like sending my resume into an abyss. I might as well put it in a bottle and toss it into one of the Great Lakes and expect a response.
The few interviews I have landed, I have not received any sort of follow up at all. Phone calls I've made to see if the position has been filled and to express my continuing interest are not acknowledged, forget about a return call.
Obviously, the task of interviewing me must be truly odious, painful and wretched in the extreme. The sheer act of will it would take to contact me and let me know that the position has been filled is overwhelming and far too brutal for a mid-level manager such as yourself to tackle. You're not that much of a company tool to stoop that low in the spirit of teamwork.
The few moments it would take to send out a mass email or a form letter via the post office to those who have applied and not been chosen would be far too time-consuming and take twenty minutes away from the crucial task of pimping whatever is your particular brand of schtick. You have obiviously lost your telephone privilgages at work since you no longer answer your phone, ever, nor do you return phone calls, ever. The only reason I think to blame that glaring lapse of ettiquite on would be the loss of said phone.
Also next time? I'll be happy to take a physical and a drug test, when I am offered a job. I'm not going to waste an afternoon just because you get to fill out a form and send someone to the local quickie clinic for a cursory once over and the joy of pissing in a cup with an audience. Unless, of course, your time is equally as vaulable as mine and you plan on accompanying me and cooling your jets in a shabby waiting room somewhere with neither cell nor laptop.
Yet I still slap a smile on my face and sally forth with my best self prostrated in the hot seat. I answer inane questions and take tests that have nothing to do with the job I would be performing. I am careful to think before any response I give, I sit up straight, I make eye contact and I have a firm no-nonsense handshake.
Yet I can't get anyone I've interviewed with to even pick up the goddamn phone and tell me someone else got the job.