Today would have been my Mom's 80th birthday. She was born in 1926 and died in 1999.
When I was teasing my mom, or trying to piss her off, I'd call her Mary. My Mom was teeny tiny and feisty. She had that bright red hair you know. She used to tell me when construction workers or cops or guys in general would yell, "Hey Red, what color is your hair?" she would yell back, "Green, you color blind son of a bitch!" You have to understand, she was 97 pounds soaking wet with heels on and a big purse at that point. She used to call me Lisa B to piss me off or tease me. And yeah, it does creep me the hell out that Patsy Ramsey used to call JonBenet JonnieB.
Her favorite cocktail was a gin & tonic, so tonight Mary, I raise my glass and remember you. (Pine-Sol, anyone?)
I miss her, every single day. I miss the goofy things we used to laugh over, trading books, our fights over my hair. (According to my mother, I had approximately two good hair days in my life.) I miss our movie dates and going shopping because she was a bit of a control freak with personal belongings and how the house looked and man, one ratty towel in my bathroom and the bathroom was getting new towels, shower curtain, etc. She used to take me to Meijer's for this because she told me I didn't take good enough care of my linens to deserve good ones. I thought the Meijer's towels were just fine. I miss her gasps when I was driving. These gasps could range from her finding a stick of gum in her purse to seeing a girl wearing a tacky outfit or too short skirt to a UPS truck almost creaming me.
Mostly, I miss getting to see Mary watch her grandchildren grow up. She loved Dexter so much. She would have been over the moon with Mia. I miss her seeing my friends all grown up with children. She always welcomed my friends and liked them.
Mary did a good job with me. I know it must have been hard, her own mother died when she was a young teen. Mary had some really tough years and it could have hardened her or she could have chosen a path of destruction. Instead she basically said, Fuck You, World. The only person I can depend on is Me. I'm going to make what I want happen.
She got a couple breaks because she worked her ass off to make her goals attainable and sometimes, there are good people in the world who reward that sort of thing. Mary always told me, "If you have a strong back and can work hard, no matter what, you can survive." My dad, alternatively, told me I should learn to play golf and cards, so I wasn't lonely when I got old.
Mary made me strong and tough without being bitter and taught me the right way to dress and set a table and be a good hostess and how important it is to have an education and job skills.
Happy 80th anniversary of my Mom's Natal Day.
I miss you and I love you, Mary and I know you loved me so much.
Very nice tribute to your mom, Lisa. Since gin and tonic is my favorite drink as well, I will lift one in her honor this evening. Our mother's sound similar...tiny, fiesty with a mouth like a sailor! thankfully, mine is still around. Like you, I will miss her every day when she is gone. Oh---I hope you're feeling better, too.
-T
Posted by: T | October 17, 2006 at 07:24 AM
Lisa, that was beautiful and heartfelt. Tiny feisty redheads are a force to be reckoned with! My mom's drink is a gin and tonic, too...sometimes I feel like maybe we were separated at birth! Hope you are feeling better...hang in there, you will be feeling better soon, I am sure!
Posted by: nurs | October 17, 2006 at 12:13 PM
Lisa, your entry made me cry. I'm so glad you've got all those great stories and memories.
Posted by: Nadine | October 17, 2006 at 04:12 PM
That was beautiful Lis, and Happy Birthday Mrs. B, up there in heaven. And by the by...it's my mom's birthday, too! She's 72 today. I've known you since we're 14 and I never knew our mom's shared the same birthday!
Posted by: Darr | October 17, 2006 at 09:32 PM
Now you've got me thinking of my mom!
Drat!
Posted by: Vero | October 18, 2006 at 10:13 AM
That was a great tribute to your mom. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: misfithausfrau | October 19, 2006 at 08:20 AM
BTW--I saw your category of the Howell High School Class of 1984. One of my old friends graduated from there in 1987--she had an older brother and sisters who went there too--small world!
Posted by: misfithausfrau | October 19, 2006 at 08:22 AM
OMG I am sitting here missing my own mom more than normal. Your tribute to your mom has left me speechless.
I don't drink so I will toast your mom with a diet rite and a smile!
I personally think that your mom did a great job on you, Lisa!
Posted by: Beth | October 20, 2006 at 08:31 AM